Thanking Our Lucky Stars and Counting Our Blessings

I was struggling to get a better view of the road through the camera's viewfinder. It's not every day that you get to see wonderful sceneries on a highway, that too while the vehicle is still in motion. Viknesh was on the car's backseat, looking at the scenery to his left. Benjamin, wearing his 'cool' red sunglasses and cracking an occasional PJ, was driving cheerfully. 'Suttum vizhi chudare' from Ghajini was playing on the audio system.

Benjamin suddenly jammed the brakes and the Verna skid towards the right for a few metres, hit the median and turned sharp leftwards and descended into a pit dug up for the six-lane expansion project on the highway. Shaken and stirred, yet unhurt, all three of us got out of the car. A huge crowd surrounded us to check the scene.........

24/12/2011

The day our Christmas and New Year holiday commenced. All three of us were on our way home to spend the precious 9 days that made almost all our friends envy us. It was a bright day. The sun shone brighter than usual and we started our roadtrip around 7.45 AM. A Bengaluru-Chennai trip does not take more than 6 hours usually. But it took us nearly 15 hours that day – the reason, the accident we met with on our way.

Benjamin is not a reckless driver; he’s a highly responsible one. He does love speed, but he’s always in control of the vehicle. He reads Lakshmi’s (his car) mind and drives accordingly. But what can he only do when it was destined that a moronic and completely mindless lady with 0% road sense should screw up our day by causing a nearly fatal accident?

Also, it was Viknesh’s first ever road trip and he was looking forward to it eagerly ever since he knew about the plan. We were listening to Tamil movie songs on the car’s audio system and singing along happily. There were the occasional I’m-always-ready-to-race kind of drivers on the road and Ben showed them who the boss was time and again. Ben and I were determined to make Viknesh’s first ever road trip a very memorable one for him. We even put up our ‘Malarey mounama…’ performance, one of our most favourite pastimes, with me singing the male lines and Ben singing the female lines in the female voice – in this case, S Janaki’s.

Besides the fuel break at a petrol pump in Koramangala, the very long wait at each and every toll plaza and a brief pause for breakfast at a roadside eatery somewhere after Krishnagiri, there were no other halts during our journey. The journey itself was really smooth until a lady on a Scooty Pep with two kids crossed the road from the wrong side and made the whole event take a horrible turn. The ‘Wrong Turn’ in our lives......

Ben was driving steadily at a speed of 85-90 kmph because he realized that the car was consuming a lot of fuel at higher speeds. Just near this village called Elarappatti, he noticed a lady on a scooter with two kids crossing the road.

Now, let me tell you how she crossed the road. She started the scooter, rode a few metres forward, and stopped at the middle of the road for no reason whatsoever. Ben thought she was making way for us and steered right. The lady suddenly changed her mind and started the vehicle without realizing that she was crossing our path. This came as a bolt from the blue to Ben, who, just like Viknesh, was witness to the lady’s totally mindless act. He jammed the brakes because he had no other option. The car would have certainly hit the lady if he hadn’t done that.

The lady never stopped. She just sped away.

The camera slipped from my hands and fell near the pedals. My spectacles went flying and landed at the same spot. Unable to withstand the inertia, Viknesh automatically bent forward with his head almost getting stuck between the two seats in front.  The car came to a sudden standstill in the pit and the three of us emerged out totally unscathed.  I spat on the ground and out came blood instead of saliva. I had a very small wound inside my mouth. We realized it was the only physical injury any of us incurred and were glad that none of us got seriously injured. But Ben was completely inconsolable. He was broken into pieces when he saw that the front right tyre had burst and the impact had damaged the wheel’s rim and front bumper.

The highway maintenance team brought a tow truck to take the car out from the pit and the Verna had to be towed for nearly 50-60 km to Vellore, where the nearest Hyundai service station was located.

Among the people gathered around us was a highway patroller who saw the whole incident. As luck would have it, he affirmed the fact that the lady had caused the accident and that we had nothing to do with it. His presence in the scene helped us a lot in explaining the situation to the cops, who would later employ methods to extract money from us. Their cheapness became evident when they asked Ben to pay a huge sum of 3000 rupees as a bribe to give him the certificate required to claim insurance. Well, that’s another story altogether. But the irony is that the highway patroller was a policeman himself and was a very honest and helpful person at the same time. Duality is omnipresent.

The accident did give us a huge shock and traumatized us to a great extent. But in the end, we let perspective take charge and show us the good things that saved us from great peril.

What if the car had collided with the scooter? Three people would have died and three people would have been behind bars.

What if we hadn’t worn our seat belts? We would have definitely died on the spot or would have been injured seriously.

What if the highway patroller were not in the scene? It would have become difficult for us to explain our case to the police who would in turn try their best to milk money from us.

Finally, what if we didn’t have sane heads above our shoulders and a sense of humour inside those heads? We would have certainly found it very tough to cope up with difficult situations such as these.

Such infinite “what ifs” open up a myriad of grave possibilities that would have made things worse. Luckily, none of these “what ifs” took place and that’s the reason we are now counting our blessings and thanking our lucky stars for being on our side. That’s again the reason my belief in God (not deities, but a higher force that is above and within all of us) has increased. Considering the very next day was Christmas, it would have become much more difficult for our families if they were to hear bad news about their children. I, later, told Benjamin that he himself was the best Christmas gift his family got this year to which he nodded in the affirmative.

Amidst this chaos, there were other things that are definitely worth mentioning here – the importance of making people feel good, the joy of giving and the heartfelt blessings of a fellow human being.

There was a guy in the crowd, who, just like others, was inspecting the damaged car out of curiosity. He noticed that the car alone had suffered serious injuries whereas all three lives that travelled in it were unhurt. He said something that I’ll remember throughout my life. He said, “Neenga yaarukko romba nalla dharmam panni irukkeenga. Adhu dhaan ungala kaappatthichu.” (You have displayed great generosity to someone. That’s what saved you.) Read on.....

A few minutes before the accident, when we went to break our fast, a poor old lady, selling flowers, asked me to buy some. I refused and went ahead for breakfast. She came back again after we were done with our food and once again persuaded me to buy some flowers. I gave her ten rupees and she gave me a muzham (a forearm’s length) of jasmine she had. She told me that her business wasn’t doing well and asked me for ten more rupees. I felt bad for her and gave her what she asked. She blessed us saying, “Unakku romba punniyama poagum.” (May all blessings be with you.) I then placed the flowers on the picture of Jesus Christ stuck to the car’s dashboard.

I wouldn’t have realized the depth and sincerity of the old lady’s words if we hadn’t met with the accident and the stranger hadn’t spoken about the value of generosity. I got reminded of an old Tamil song that goes, “Dharmam thalai kaakkum; thakka samayatthil uyir kaakkum.” (Dharma saves your head; and at the appropriate time it also saves your life.)

Another lesson we learnt is on the importance of a sense of humour. Well, what has happened has happened. There is no way you can undo it. That being the case, what’s the point in feeling unending sorrow? Moving on is the only best thing possible. I got reminded of a quote by Kahlil Gibran: “A sense of humour is a sense of proportion.”

We also found solace in the fact that good people still roam the earth. The highway patroller, the maintenance guys from L&T and the mineral water can storehouse owner who offered us help increased our belief in humanity. We complain about bad people, but we fail to realize that goodness is inherent in all of us. It’s just that we let selfishness cloud our minds.

This accident definitely shook our souls, but there is no denying that it came along with its own share of lessons on life and living. Most important of all, I came to know about how making people feel good works wonders in life.

I turn 21 today and I’d now like to make a birthday resolution that I’ll always try my best to make people feel good. Even if I can’t, I’ll at least try my best to not make them feel bad. After all, there’s nothing we would take along with us on our final journey. Why make the journey of life miserable for our fellow human beings, brothers and sisters?

Life is fragile. Life is cruel. Yet life is sweet. Life is beautiful.

A Walk to Remember

It was around 10PM that night and I was taking a shower. Suddenly, my mind went back to a conversation that I had with my best friend Safwan on the 11th of September, 2010. We had gone to the Connemara Library and had our lunch at a small eatery nearby. Our next plan was to visit the then newly-opened Express Avenue. As is our habit, we decided to walk all the way from the library to the shopping mall. That is a staggering distance of around 3.5 kms.

My grandmother had passed away only the previous week, so we were talking about her and the funeral ceremony in general. Safwan lost his grandmother a couple of years back. He told me how nearly one thousand people had attended his grandmother's last rites and how much respect they all had for her.

I realized that his grandmother was unlike mine. Honestly speaking, I have never had a close relationship with either of my grandmothers. My maternal grandmother lived more than 400 kms away from us, so we couldn't visit her often. Unfortunately, though my paternal grandmother lived with us, she maintained a great emotional distance with us which made it seem as if she also lived 400 kms away from us. There were many reasons for us to feel this way. I don't want to get into details here though.

But then, I was pouring out my frustration towards my grandmother's ways and how she treated us when she was alive. Safwan listened to all that and asked me if I had heard of a particular story about a father and his two sons. I said I wasn't aware and he told me the story. It went like this:

A highly abusive and alcoholic person had two sons. He used to pick up fights in the neighbourhood and earned a reputation for 'pure evil.' His wife, unable to bear his atrocities, died at a very young age. The irresponsible father never cared for his sons and the two of them grew up on their own. The elder son grew up and became as abusive and reckless as his father. No one respected him and never wished to maintain a cordial relationship with him.

On the other hand, the younger son went on to become a mature individual who behaved responsibly and earned a good name in the society. He tasted success in all his ventures and everyone admired him for his determination and courage.

One day, one of the younger son's friends asked him, "Your father is the worst person I have ever known personally and your brother is the second worst. How come you alone are different from them?"

To this, the 'odd man out' replied, "My brother considered my father a role model of 'how to live' and I considered the same person a role model of 'how not to live'. That's what made me stand apart from them."

The friend was quite surprised by the answer and acquired some essential wisdom for life.

By the time Safwan finished telling this story, we had almost reached Express Avenue. I learnt a great lesson that day. You would have come across that lesson time and again in your lives.

The lesson is: "Everyone has something to teach. It's what we learn and how we learn it that moulds our characters."

Safwan and I have walked long distances on previous occasions too and those memories will be fresh in my mind as well. The reason for that would be either something humourous or unusual. But the reason to remember this particular walk till death is something worth cherishing. I had learnt a highly valuable lesson.

The Art of Parenting

“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."

And he said:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”

       - An excerpt from Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet”

I’m not sure how many people have read these words, or how many people have realized the truth behind these words through their experiences in life. But what I’m sure of is a major portion of Indian parents, especially those belonging to the middle class, would not even understand what Gibran conveys through these words. Even if they do understand, they would never apply it in their lives.

That brings us to the ever-raging debate of ‘responsible parenting.’ “India is progressing in many areas, but Indian people are not.” This argument holds good even when you consider the Indian way of parenting. Despite various rational explanations and realizations, this particular area is in a standstill. Most of the Indian youth still do not pursue their passions due to the overwhelming compulsion of their parents. Be it professional life, or personal life, it is the parents who still have the rights to make the final decision.

Going back to the Vedic period, children were sent to gurukulas, where they learnt whatever they wished to learn and attained excellence in it. Perhaps, that’s how ancient India had an abundance of skilled artisans in different fields, which eventually brought in a great deal of wealth to the whole nation. Children learnt what they wanted to learn and did what they wanted to do. But the present day scenario is diametrically opposite to the aforementioned case. Citing reasons such as financial security in the long run, today’s parents do not allow their children to pursue their own passions.

First of all, parents mainly think that children lack experience and that this lack of experience would not help them in life. So what? The child has so many years of life left. He/she would continue to learn till death. ‘No matter how hard you teach, anyone can understand anything only if he/she puts in the same effort to learn.’ Today’s advice-o-phobic youth wants to experience everything firsthand. While this may not be possible and advisable in each and every case, it is worth taking the risk in simple things.

The Western way of bringing up kids is quite commendable. The child is a part of the family only till a particular age. After that, one has to go on with life on one’s own. We may observe this wonderful trend among animals. A tiger raises and takes care of its cubs only till a certain age, after which the cubs become ‘solitary reapers.’ This practice is not restricted only to tigers, but can be noticed in the case of almost all animals. If that’s how nature wants things to be, why should we attempt to alter it? Precisely, that’s what Indian parents do. Attempt to alter the way of nature.

To be honest, we still live in a backward society. How can we call ourselves ‘forward-thinking,’ when the freedom and interests of individuals are not respected? Children should be motivated to live and do things on their own. After all, we live only once. Why should we convince and console ourselves if we can’t achieve our dreams? In fact, parents should be the first people to teach and inspire their children to dream and pursue those dreams. They should not exhibit any kind of negativity in their thoughts or words.

The matter gets worse when it comes to personal life. Most youngsters do not end up marrying the ones they love sincerely and wholeheartedly. Broken hearts, lifelong grievances and unhappy lives are what we find frequently due to love affairs that do not end in marriage. What kind of freedom is it if a person cannot marry the one whom he/she loves?
I don’t suggest that parents abandon their children and go on with their own lives. I only suggest that parents stop holding their children’s hands when the latter become 100% confident of walking on their own.

Parenting is an art. Perhaps, that’s why we rarely see a da Vinci or a Picasso amidst us.

My Perspective on Happiness

The girl I love had once asked me if I have any posts about happiness. I've been trying to come up with one ever since she made that request, but in vain.

The reason is very simple. You can 'feel' happy to any extent, but you would definitely find it difficult to 'describe' it or 'define' it. But I've just made an attempt to pour out my thoughts about it.

Let me tell you one thing very well in advance. You'd have definitely come across whatever I say here through any media, through anyone. So it might sound redundant. Please bear with it if so.

After some brainstorming and intense introspection, I concluded that happiness is nothing but the state of feeling good. That's it? Is it as simple as that? Well, it may look simple. But in fact, it is highly complex.

Now, let me tell you more about this state of feeling good. This state is absolutely intrinsic and is unfazed due to external circumstances. I'm now reminded of a statement that I used to tell my mother when I was in 7th standard: "I'll surely be the class topper if Jagadish is not my classmate." Here I am making use of the word 'if'. Those with a computer science background would have realized what I'm talking about.

We use 'if' only to introduce conditions. We can use this 'if' in both positive ways as well as negative ways.

For example, you can say, "I'll succeed if I work hard."

or

"I'll be happy if you leave me alone.", "I'll be happy if I have an iPod."

That's the difference. You are concerned with your self in the former and you are concerned with a different person or a thing in the latter.

You will never find happiness if you look for it elsewhere. Happiness is always where it is, within the self. What is this self?

The definition of the self is highly spiritual. If you have an idea about what the soul is you'll have an idea about what the self is. Both are one and the same.

The body has its limits but the self does not. It's an unlimited entity. It's completely capable of achieving anything. That's why it is highly important for one to be sure or confident of one's self.

You probably might have not experienced the power of the self in real life and are hence sceptical about it.

Detach your self from the 'if's. A change of thought can certainly brighten up your mood and help you sustain it.

That doesn't mean that you should renounce all your materialistic pleasures. It only means that you should realize that you are greater than all those things put together. An iPod is just a thing that is there to entertain you; you are its master. Being the master you should be able to live without it. Remember, the master is always powerful than the servant. So the former should definitely be able to do whatever the latter can.

Having confused you a bit, I would like to jump to a different facet or dimension that is concerned with being happy. The first thing one needs to do in order to be happy is to be thankful.

Be thankful for sitting in front of a computer reading this blog post. Because, there are millions of people in the world who don't know to read and an equal number of people who haven't even heard of a computer.

Be thankful for each and every thing you have in life. Don't worry if you don't have something today. You'll get it tomorrow. Now that brings us to another thing.

Hope.

That four letter word which is as indispensable as love. I strongly feel that hope is not a dead thing. It is in fact, a good thing. That's what makes you accomplish things.

I fell in love with this quote the moment I saw it, which is nearly 5 years ago.

"The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is droll;
The former sees the donut, the latter sees the hole."

I'm an optimist. I'm grateful for whatever I have in life.

I'm grateful for the wonderful parents I've got.
I'm grateful for the highly supportive friends I've got.
I'm grateful to the arts which never fail to make me feel good. Perhaps that's the reason I'm good at them.
I'm grateful to my teachers.
I'm grateful...
I'm grateful...

The list goes on and on. I'm grateful for each and every thing that happens in my life. This is what they call looking at things in the right perspective.

I don't feel bad that the girl I love doesn't reciprocate my feelings. I only feel happy that I can love someone so much. Isn't that something one should feel really happy for?

I'm grateful to her for making me realize the magnitude and intensity of love that is present in me.

And I hope that all will be well in the end.

As you sow, so shall you reap.

I've sown something invaluable. So, I'll definitely not fail.
This is a matter of hope. It makes me feel good.

I'm grateful and hopeful. I'm grateful for the past and hopeful for the future.

Hence I'm happy. :)

I don't know if I have confused you or if I have helped you come to a conclusion.

Feel happy if I have confused you, because conclusion follows confusion. Feel happy if I have made my point clear because I have helped you reach a conclusion.

My Perspective on 'The Lost Symbol'

Criticism is something that I haven't ventured into yet. But my mind kept telling me again and again to write my views about 'The Lost Symbol' just after I finished reading it. The reason is still unknown but here is what I truly think about the latest venture of Dan Brown.

The Lost Symbol is a typical Langdon-ish novel. This is how it is: Robert Langdon - Summoned to a famous spot on an unusual hour of the day - Witnesses something highly disturbing - A secret society resurfaces - Head of the society is Langdon's close friend - Startling revelations - A powerful message in the end.

So this is the skeleton of a Dan Brown's novel in which Langdon is the lead character. I was mighty impressed by 'Angels and Demons' that I read it 4 times. And the beauty of the story is that I understood its true meaning only when I read it for the fourth time. Hmmm. My intellect wasn't that matured in the year 2005 I guess.

My personal opinion is that Angels and Demons is far better than the Da Vinci Code in many ways. But it is a pity that the former is highly underrated. What impressed me greatly in Angels and Demons is that its theme and message is universal whereas that of the Da Vinci Code is meant for a particular sect of people. Interestingly, the largest in the world. No wonder it kicked off a great controversy.

The most important message that Angels and Demons conveyed was, 'Spirituality and science are not different from one another and that ancient wisdom was far advanced than modern intellect'. [Or, that's the message that I inferred from the book.]

Excuse me, what do all these have to do with 'the Lost Symbol'. Getting to it.

Dan Brown conveys the same message in 'The Lost Symbol'. But the difference lies in the location and the secret society involved. The location being Washington D.C this time and the society being the Brotherhood of the Freemasons. The author has made a great effort to recreate the magic he weaved in 'A & D' and has also succeeded greatly. This time it is better, grander and bigger. The information he shares about the society and the way he solves the huge jigsaw puzzle is completely mindblowing.

I have always strongly believed that our Indian rishis possessed unsurpassable knowledge. Of course, I later realized that great minds from all ancient civilizations possessed the same intellectual wealth. Dan highly glorifies those thousands of wise sages of olden times, belonging to all cultures and civilizations in 'the Lost Symbol'. Like mentioned earlier, this is the second time he does it. But he does it in a greater manner.

One thing that I found to be a bit poor in 'the Lost Symbol' is the portrayal of the villain. That is unconvincing and Dan's vain efforts to make the villain look terrifying and fearsome is evident.

The plot is for sure redundant, but still it is a fast-paced thriller. Redundancy is something unwelcome in the field of arts and I'm sure that well-learned hardcore fans of Dan Brown would have certainly been disappointed by 'the Lost Symbol'. But, that is not the biggest problem. Mankind still chooses to stay in darkness despite millions of men proclaiming that there is eternal light, since time immemorial. Dan Brown is also one among those millions who wish to make man aware of his true capability.

I'm the kind of person who gives more importance to the message that is conveyed rather than to the way it is conveyed. So it is only obvious that I'd love 'the Lost Symbol' to a great extent because the message it conveys is great, true and eternal.

Some people may not appreciate or accept my views about this book. I don't even care about it.

I'd silently think of the words Dean Galloway utters.

"You do not yet have eyes to see."

Perspective - The Word and Its Relevance.

It's been very long since I made up my mind to come up with a blog that acts as a medium to express my thoughts and my views in the form of essays. Today, I have taken the first step to make it happen and I'm really happy for that.

Firstly I'd like to tell you what made me choose the name 'perspectivesandtruth' for my blog. Man has evolved a lot since time immemorial. The whole world is an assortment of minds, thoughts and emotions. There is a Sanskrit mantra which goes 'Ekam sat vipra bahudha vadanti'. The verse mentioned means 'God is one but scholars call him by different names'.

Exactly. God is one but people call him by different names. What causes this difference? How did it arise? The answer is perspective. There is no uniformity in thought and action throughout the world. What is right in India is wrong elsewhere and what is right elsewhere is wrong in India. This is just an example. I can keep on telling more about this duality but I guess this example is enough.

Perspective is that thing that differentiates people. But in some cases 'birds of the same feather flock together' and that's how like-minded people come together to realize their dreams. Perspective unites people as well as diversifies them.

Some people consciously think about perspective and the thought process whereas most of them don't. I think I belong to the first category. There have been several occasions when I have wanted to get into another person's mind and see what he/she is thinking about. I have made several mistakes in my life thinking everyone thinks like me. That's why I trust people easily and become so attached to them. All that is history and now I've attained some kind of a realization.

We'll see more of this thing called 'perspective' and how it is closely connected to the functioning of the entire universe.

While speaking about perspective I should not forget to mention about truth. The main reason is that there maybe infinite perspectives but there exists only one truth. I can't say for sure if my perspectives are the reflections of truth or if they are poles apart. We'll see if our perspectives are the same or if they are different and find out if they lead to the ultimate destination TRUTH.